When I was in my early teens, I completely expected to have a life that would include being married and having children. Given my family background, that life would also include a divorce or two.
I do not think that anyone who drinks heavily can have a meaningful romantic relationship, so I was disqualified until my mid-30s. I think I also needed a period of time for me to “wake up and grow up.”
Now I sometimes wonder if I use my travel as an excuse to avoid deeply intimate relationships. I am a single guy who has no plans beyond six months and who usually spends six months of the year traveling. Maybe I am hiding behind borders.
Still, I am happy with my life and my lifestyle. I thrive on meeting new people and having new experiences. I do not see myself as half a person just because I do not have a better half. I do not live with the belief that I can complete anyone or that anyone will complete me.
I wake up each day and like to let the day unfold. I accept what happens and try to avoid resisting the present moment. For whatever reason, my love life has not unfolded in a traditional manner. Maybe that is the universe telling me to stay on this path alone.
Love used to be more of a transactional feeling with me—like a business relationship wherein something was surrendered or provided in return for kindness. I now see love as a gift that I can share with anyone. Like a gift, love comes without strings or attachments. I try to spread my version of love freely with all those who cross my path.
Love is wanting the best for everyone and having no attachment to the outcome. Just like success, me winning does not mean you have to lose. Love is not a zero-sum gain. Life offers an infinite and eternal supply of love that is meant to be shared in each interaction.
I used to think that a partner could make me happy, but maturity has taught me that happiness comes from within. Happiness is something to be shared, and not something to be gained from another person.